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Flat Earth Confession

You know how sometimes the world seems flat? And you know this because you fell off the edge of it for a few weeks?

October has been one deadline after another, with a blog hop, trip to Kansas City, retailer event in Houston, die designs due, and volunteer work for my daughter's band. I always have good intentions of keeping up with my blog, FB and Twitter during these times of crushing deadlines, but, alas, good intentions don't feed the social media. (It's a phrase)

During times of high stress it becomes evident in my dreams. I never dream about the actual stressful activity, though. It's always something else, like my kids being lost and I can't find them, or getting to the airport for an international flight without my passport, or wandering around a house that is clearly haunted but I can't find the way out . . . . you know... stuff that makes you wake up happy that the only "real" stressor in your life is that you have three days to die cut 500 items for class kits.

This morning I wandered into the bathroom bleary-eyed and had this conversation with John:

ME:    Hey! You were being pretty flirty with another woman in my dream last night!

JOHN:    Let me guess . . . this is somehow my fault?

ME:    I'm just sayin' that I'm watching you, buster! (This is where I did the Meet-the-Parents fingers toward my own eyes and then toward his)

Later, he came out ready for work and sporting a dapper corduroy jacket in honor of the glorious Fall weather we've been enjoying this week.

ME:    Wow! You look great! 

JOHN:    Well, you know . . . gotta impress the ladies!

Sixteen years of marriage and he still manages to make me LOL most days.

Another morning we had this conversation:

ME:    Ewww. I came out this morning and found a big bug drowned in Lucy's water bowl!

JOHN:    Are you sure it drowned?

ME:    Well it was dead! 

JOHN:    But how do you know it didn't just have a heart attack and fall into the bowl afterward?

ME:    Good point. I guess we'll just have to wait on the autopsy.

JOHN:    Exactly.

What's the secret to staying together?


I'm going with "banter". Heh.

OK, so back to my flat earth confession.

"Karen Burniston" is a company of one person, and you're looking at her. (Actually, that's a figure of speech - you better not be looking at me because my hair is crazy and I have a zit on my chin) (Also, it is completely unfair that, at my advanced age, I have a zit on my chin)

But I digress . . .

My point is, I can't seem to keep up with all the things that a good business person should do. Like social media, and sending out newsletters, and making new YouTube videos, and creating new projects, and checking to make sure that Karl is asleep at a decent hour so I don't get another e-mail from his History teacher saying that he fell asleep in class. You know . . . business stuff.

And because I always feel perpetually behind, I put off stuff that seems "optional" - like getting cabinets installed in my office. 

Which is why my office looks like the vault in Ocean's 11 after the bomb went off.

Which is why my mess has spilled out into the foyer and the dining room.

Which is why I panic when the doorbell rings fearing that a friend or neighbor is stopping by.

Which is why I rejoice when it's just FedEx dropping off another box.

Or two.

Or ten.

Which adds to the chaos in the front half of my house.

Which is why I really need to get the cabinets put in.

If you give a mouse a cookie . . .

If you give Karen another box . . .

I'm pretty sure that Gretchen has started a pool, or a non-profit, or a cause of some sort to try to get me to get my office done. Here's a text convo we had yesterday:

GRETCHEN: S'up? Workout done. Grabbing shower. I need another hoodie. (Because I am all about being random today)

ME:    Working on band signs for fall dinner tonight. John working from home and I am going with him to PT cuz I have to learn how to apply kinesiology tape. (Talk about random!)

GRETCHEN: You know what else I think you should do?

ME:    Do tell?

GRETCHEN: Since you accomplished something major (die designs turned in) I think you should call an electrician to set up a time for him to come next week.

You see? You see how different we are? She works out! She showers! Plus, she has this warped "round earth" view of the world wherein you reward yourself for crossing something off your to-do list by crossing SOMETHING ELSE off your to-do list!

It's madness!

But I made a promise, and so I shall keep it.

I'm ending this blog post and calling an electrician.

The time has come.

The time is now.

Messy K. Office will you please go now!