Private Classes for Europe
Dr. McMeltme's Magic!

Happy Hallo-Thanks-Holidays!

Yeah, yeah, I suck at blogging. I know! I'm not good about exercising either. In fact, I ran into one of the Girl Scout parents in the grocery store the day before Thanksgiving:

Girl Scout Parent: Hi Karen. Wow. You look like you've lost weight!

ME: Well I've been sick for about 10 days, so I think I've dropped a few pounds from that.

GSP: Oh. I thought maybe you were working out or something.

ME: Oh goodness no! Ha ha ha! No, no, no!

(Although, side note: 10 days of coughing is really good for your abs!)

GSP: (sympathetically) Well if it's just from being sick I suppose you'll gain it back.

ME: You suppose correctly! Can you hand me that whipping cream?

And yes, I've gained it back. Fried turkeys are delicious, yo!

We were all seated at the dining room table, enjoying a feast of Turkey #1 and all the fixin's when I happened to notice that Lucy, who is usually parked at my feet, was not in the room. "Where's Lucy?" I asked. Everyone looked around and then I caught a glance between John and Geoff, who had collaborated on the turkey frying in the backyard.

JOHN: You don't think . . .

GEOFF: We left it to cool on the table out there . . .

And then they jumped up and clamored toward the back door, hauling in the remains of Turkey #2:

Turkey Laugh 

Lucy got her own fried turkey leg feast and was, as near as we could tell, very thankful! And sleepy.

And while I'm in the business of catching up on missed holidays:

Kids Halloween email 

We made Emma's costume out of trash bags stuffed with grocery bags. She also wore a white swim cap, sweats, boots, heavy makeup, a scarf and a top hat. So . . . yeah . . . she pretty much spontaneously combusted an hour into Trick-or-Treating. But on the bright side, she dropped 5 pounds and one of the girl scouts thought she was hitting the gym . . . heh.

Karl was a pirate.

In Europe news, we had a blast! As usual, the students were spectacular, the hosting was spectacular and the classes went well. I am now going to try to stay home more. Yeah, yeah, I've claimed that before, but this time I'm being uber-serious! Or at least somewhat serious. I'm seriously thinking about being serious. Seriously.

But I will be at CHA. So there's that trip.

After that I'm totally staying home.

I might even blog more!

Only probably not.

Because I may be addicted to Pizza Palace, the new game on Webkinz world. If anyone has passed level 10, please tell me your secret.

I'm also addicted to housework.

Only DEFINITELY not.

In fact, I have some cool pictures of Karl to show you, but I can't do it because I can't find my card reader and that's because this office/craft room resembles a garbage dump only less stinky and much less organized.

So my goal for today is to clean up the office.

Did anyone fall for that? Because I was laughing even as I typed it.

I'm off to buy a new card reader, of course.

And actually, in housework news, I've done a much better job. I sort of almost resemble Martha Stewart's second cousin by marriage. Like the main floor is all tidy and festively decorated for Christmas. And the basement (minus my office) is also tidy. And 3/4 of the bathrooms and bedrooms are completey presentable. I'm not even drowning in laundry. More like treading water in laundry, which is a huge improvement!

I even scrubbed the baseboards and dusted the blinds AND the ceiling fans! No joke!

Of course, dusting the blinds really wasn't enough. They need a thorough cleaning. Like I should remove them, take them into the yard, spray them forcefully with the hose, let them dry, and then replace them in the windows.

Baby steps, though. Baby steps.

Don't want to strain anything. Like my pizza-making mouse hand. (That means my hand that controls the mouse, not my hand that's small and furry.)

And now iz ze time on Sprockets ven ve dance! Actually it's the time in the blog post where I type up a funny thing that one of my kids said, but this one requires a whole set-up.

RKQOTD: Karl had his friend Tyler over to play and they were running around the house and yard using Karl's walkie-talkies. I was cleaning the kitchen (suck that, Martha!) and would catch occasional scraps of conversations as one of them would dart through the house. I had to laugh when Tyler burst through the door just in time for me to hear him say to Karl on the walkie talkie:

TYLER: Stop asking if this is Central Marketing!

So then the story gets funnier, because I was in line to return something at WalMart a few weeks later. The line was moving very slowly, mostly because one of the customer service people was having trouble getting a money order to print, and the other one was arguing with a customer over whether he could return a bb gun. Apparently they have a "no return" policy on firearms and she was steadfastly pointing out the fine print on an itty-bitty sign behind the counter as the guy squinted and practically fell over the counter trying to read it. And then he started arguing with her, saying that he didn't see the sign when he bought the gun, which is completely understandable judging by the tiny print and location of the sign in returns instead of, say, where the guns are sold. But of course none of this changed the fact that I was in line with a legitimate return, in a WalMart bag with a receipt and everything, and nobody was available to assist me.

And then my phone rang.

I didn't recognize the number, but I was bored and it was a necessary diversion from envisioning myself grabbing the bb gun and whacking someone over the head with it. (Yes, I suppose you expected me to say that I would shoot someone with it, but first of all, that's disturbing, and second of all, the bb gun was broken. That's why the guy wanted to return it. Please keep up.)

ME: (into the phone. Please keep up.) Hello?

WOMAN'S VOICE: Is this Central Marketing?

If I'm lying I'm whacking myself in the head with a broken bb gun!

 

 

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