Busy Business!
On chipmunks and chachkis

If you give a girl some earrings . . .

. . . she's going to figure out that the pendant she came across in the key cabinet was meant to be found after all. And if she figures out that the pendant and the earrings were meant to be discovered, she's just going to go "Awwww!" and think about her thoughtful husband who is particularly good at "hiding" pieces of jewelry where they are meant to be found, like in the key cabinet and the dashboard of the van.


And if she thinks about her thoughtful husband, even while driving down the road leading a caravan of two other people recruited to help pick up Girl Scout cookies, she's going to want to call her husband right away to thank him.

And if she's driving after a night of snow then all of the lane dividers and street markings are going to be covered, so she'll have to just follow the tire tracks of whoever was the first one to drive down the street and thereby decide for everyone where the lane should be.

And if she comes up to a shopping center and realizes that the "lane" she's in is actually a turn lane she'll have to get over one.

And this might be difficult while talking on the phone and she'll also have to check out her rear view mirror to make sure that her caravan is also getting over.

And if it snowed there's probably a bunch of sand/gravel mixture in the intersection.

And she will, after all, be talking on the phone.

So she might not notice a trifle like a red light.

And she'll have to slam on her brakes.

And she'll slide on the gravel slightly into the intersection but not enough to hit the turning car who has the green light. Not even close, really, but scary nonetheless.

And the turning car driver is going to be mad. And the turning car driver will notice that gravel sliding driver is on the phone. And the turning car driver will notice her smiling and not realize that it's because she feels very embarrassed, stupid and lucky. The turning car driver will not be able to hear her tell her husband that she really must get off the phone and stop being a poster-child for a distracted-driver brochure and the turning car driver will instead think that she's an arrogant smiling idiot with a cell phone who doesn't realize that she could KILL someone with that attitude.

And so the turning car driver will honk. Profusely.

And the car behind the turning car driver will honk in support.

And the girl with the earrings will sink down in her seat a little and attempt to put more "sheepishness" into her smile but it probably won't stop the honking.

And she'll also have to explain to her caravan why she did that very stupid thing on the way to pick up Girl Scout cookies.

And if you give a girl some earrings, and she calls you to thank you, and she gets honked at and gestured to, and she has some 'splainin' to do to her friends, and she didn't get you anything because you both agreed that THIS LOVELY DINING ROOM TABLE AND CHAIRS


would be your present to each other, but you broke the promise, and you also said something to her like;

"The bird earrings are cool, but nobody ever notices earrings so I had to get you a pendant to match."

And she replies;

"Oh, so that people will notice the pendant and I can say 'Yes, but check out the matching earrings!''?"

And you reply;


She's going to see a lot of humor in the fact that her husband is such an expert on how women get their earrings noticed and she's probably going to blog about it.

And after she blogs about it she'll probably head out to the store to find a gift for her thoughtful husband with the tattoos and the earring sense.

And if she goes to the mall on Valentines day she's probably going to see a lot of jewelry.

And if she falls in love with a bracelet she's going to have to buy it.

And if she buys the bracelet . . .

She's just going to want some earrings!

Happy Valentines Day!

RKQOTD (Karl: Hey Emma, what's that dance you're doing? Emma: We learned it in P.E. It's called "The Macadamia", but it's not the kind you eat. Me: That looks a lot like a dance called "The Macarena" - did they change the name? Emma: No. I just don't know how to pronounce it.)