Isn't it impressive the way I can make myself disappear? Magic, baybee!
Speaking of magic, the kids and I were in the grocery store the other day getting just a few items. We decided to use the Self-CheckOut which is a particular favorite of the kids.
KARL: Mom, they changed the system.
ME: Oh yeah, you're right. It does look different. Well, I'm sure we can figure it out. Just start with the easy stuff and then we'll do the produce last since we have to look up the codes.
And so we beeped and bagged our way through the waffles, soup, yogurt and crackers until all we had left were the produce items.
ME: Karl, hit the "Item doesn't have barcode" button.
KARL: OK. Now it says to put the item on the scale.
We put our bag of cucumbers on the scale and waited for the machine to ask us to input the code. The codes were all pasted to the front of the machine, so I took the opportunity to find the code while we were waiting.
KARL: The computer is figuring out that it's cucumbers.
ME: No. The computer can't tell that. It's weighing them, but then we'll have to tell it the code for cucum-
The computer screen registered "Cucumbers"!
Karl turned and grinned triumphantly at me.
I stood gape-faced for a second trying to process what just happened. There are 6 self-check-out stations at King Soopers and an employee stands at a computer in the center and offers assistance when customers have trouble. It took me just a second to realize that the employee must have input the code. I glanced at Karl with a look that clearly said "Oh my dear child. Let me tell you how that happened"
ME: Oh my dear child. Let me tell you how that happened. There's a King Soopers employee putting in the codes at that comput-
I didn't finish my sentence because as I was explaining in tones most superior I turned to point at the employee, you know, for added emphasis.
THERE WAS NOBODY THERE!!!
Karl grinned triumphantly at me again.
ME: Wha...?!!
KARL: Let's try the apples!
Karl went through the "Item doesn't have barcode/put it on the scale" process with the apples and then stared expectantly at the screen. I was still looking around in puzzlement.
COMPUTER: Red Delicious Apples
Karl laughed. I gasped.
KARL: Mom, (he had adopted my superior tone) the computer can tell what we're putting on the scale. It can tell from the weight.
ME: But you could have the same weight of apples as cucumbers. Obviously there must be an elaborate camera system in there, but why would they go to all that trouble and expense? They have the codes right here on the machine.
We stood hunched over staring into the scanner section of the computer. I glanced behind me to verify that there still wasn't an employee at the computer. There wasn't.
KARL: Time for the tomatoes!
ME: Uh. Er. Uh.
I had lost my ability to speak. It truly seemed like magic that the scanner knew our produce items. Naturally, the computer was not stumped by tomatoes.
COMPUTER: Tomatoes.
KARL: Haaa haaaa haaaa! That's awesome!
ME: HOW DOES IT KNOW THOSE ARE TOMATOES?!
I whipped around and saw an employee standing nearby, near enough to hear my outburst. I repeated my question to her.
ME: Excuse me, how does this computer know that we're buying tomatoes?
And that's when it happened. The employee grinned at me. She showed me what was hidden behind her back.
A handheld device with a bunch of buttons on it.
It obviously had wireless code-entering capabilities. She showed it to me with an expression of "Don't spoil the magic for the kids" but apparently didn't realize that I had been completely taken in by the magic as well.
I had that mixture of thoughts that you have when you've been duped. The: "wow I'm so relieved I'm not crazy/what a mean trick/ha ha ha how funny" mixture.
I sure enough spoiled it for the kids.
ME: Gasp! Karl - look at what she has! It's a handheld computer. She's putting in the codes for us! I knew it had to be something like that! I knew it!
Karl just looked disappointed. So did I, if I'm being honest. We rather liked the magic scanner.
Jim would have never told Dwight that the computer wasn't alive.
Stupid King Soopers employee.
Heh.
OK, onto other subjects. Remember how I said I wasn't going to post again until 3 more classes were done? I've only finished two and a half, but I'm posting anyway.
Because I lie. I lie.
These are the classes for two stores in the Netherlands: Simpel Scrappen on Monday, November 12th, and Paper and Pictures on Wednesday, November 14th. I've put the website links under each of them so you can go read the descriptions, picture sizes and what to bring to class. I love how these classes turned out and I'm so excited to teach them! So Dutch scrappers - please sign up!
RKQOTD (Karl: Mom, you know what's wrong with the F.B.I.? Me: Uh. No. Karl: Well most people think it stands for Federal Biology Institute. Or anything else that starts with an F, B and I.)
Why of course, that IS what is wrong with the FBI!
Posted by: Mimi | October 18, 2007 at 01:47 PM
I adore you complete and total
Posted by: sharyn (torm) | October 18, 2007 at 03:36 PM
now THAT was FUNNY.
and i'd be completely freaked out, too. thanks heavens they don't have those hand-held computers at my self-check out.
at least i don't think they do...
Posted by: valerie | October 18, 2007 at 07:30 PM
hehehe I would have loved to see the look on your face! your mini's look wonderful!
corinnexxx
Posted by: corinne delis | October 19, 2007 at 12:40 AM
Love the classes!!! Did you ever hear from Memory Lane, PA!? I gave them your info... really hoping to get to take some of your phenom classes! And the magic lane... I tend to spoil the magic for my kids too! :) It's only fair...
Posted by: Yvonne | October 19, 2007 at 09:27 AM
OMG...I don't know what's better, the magic scanner or the FBI quote. I SO needed that smile today.
Posted by: janet o | October 19, 2007 at 12:49 PM
I love your blog! You are hilarious!!! I love your books. Lucky you going to The Netherlands! Can you PLEASE come to Orange County CALIFORNIA!
Posted by: Michelle | October 19, 2007 at 07:52 PM
Holey guacamole....my kids will be spellbound by that scanner behind the back technology when it finally hits GA.
I do solemnly swear and pinky promise not to spoil the magic.
Which means I
A) am The world's Best Mom EVER!
B) have a bit of a mean streak
I have found the two not to be mutually exclusive!
Posted by: Lisa | October 23, 2007 at 04:37 PM
you know Kurt did almost the same thing to me......at the store you can get bulk honey...there is a sign saying don't touch the lid or you will let the bees out....I was a happy camper thinking there was bees in there....until the day KURT LIFTED THE LID...all that is in the boxes are tubs....I really haven't forgiven him for ruining the illision.
meg
Posted by: meg | October 23, 2007 at 11:10 PM
Ah, have you tried the wonder that is 20Q?
Posted by: Michelle | October 25, 2007 at 11:41 PM
I feel so cheated we dont have those in Bama! Magic or not we gotta put in the codes! ID SOOOOO mess with my hubby on that one!!!
Posted by: NancyJones | October 26, 2007 at 03:04 AM
Hi karen,
We are just home from your workshop in doorn, holland (paper & pictures). I just want to say that my daughter and i had so much fun. It was great to sse you and learn from you. The album we made is lovely. We will finish it very soon can't wait to work on it. I wish you a good flight home and next time you are in holland we will certainly be at your workshop where ever it may be. For next month i wish you a merry christmas and a fabulous 2008!!
many thanks karen nicolai
Posted by: karen | November 14, 2007 at 05:26 PM